Transformation Day 2012: Update for 08/22/11

public domain image of a butterflyI’ve made so much progress toward my goal in this past week.  I’m almost overwhelmed by it, actually.  I really do feel so blessed though.

First off, I weighed in at 268.4lb this morning.  That’s a 10.4lb drop since 7/25/11.  Now, some of you who don’t know me too well might be thinking, “OK, a fat chick who needs to lose 140lb lost 10lb.  What’s the big deal?” Well, I’ll tell you.  The big deal is that this fat chick had an epiphany, and for now, I’m still on track and making progress.

Over this past week, I really took to heart the idea that I need to plan for TODAY — think about TODAY — and don’t worry about next week, next year, when I get to goal, when I’m tempted by stuff that I want, etc., etc.  By planning for TODAY, I make sure that I set myself up to make good choices TODAY, and it takes a lot of stress and worry off my shoulders when I’m not fretting about “later”.

Planning is also continuing to be very helpful for me.  I faced a nemesis of mine TWICE this weekend, and I cruised right through to the other side feeling great (and really proud.) These little accomplishments are HUGE for me because I haven’t felt like I’ve been at this point since maybe 2006.  And even then, I didn’t understand the planning component or the “today” component.

As I’d written in my blog posts that covered my menus for the week, my husband’s birthday was last Tuesday.  I ate “pizza” then and had no problems, but I did discover that as much as I WISH I could eat blueberries and the occasional Atkins bar, wishing doesn’t make it so, and I’m much better without those things.

And then this weekend… I’m still stunned by this weekend! We celebrated my daughter’s 9th birthday on Saturday.  We planned a play party at a park in the next city, and we brought cupcakes from Sam’s Club, fruit, and beverages to share.  Now, to understand the significance here, in our opinion, Sam’s Club’s bakery makes some of the best cakes and cupcakes I’ve ever had, and they’re CHEAP on top of it.  I don’t know that I’ve ever made it through a birthday party with Sam’s Club cake where I haven’t at least had a small piece.  And the buttercream frosting, one of my ultimate “crack” foods, ALWAYS finds a way into my mouth.  In fact, I’m somewhat ashamed to admit that I’ve binged on cupcakes from Sam’s Club, eating 4 in one sitting.

This weekend though, I was feeling so great about my food that I didn’t give a second thought to the cupcakes.  Saturday morning was extremely busy, but I still managed to find time to make a big skillet meal.  I packed a serving to take to the park.  That way, if I got hungry, I’d have something to eat and I wouldn’t be tempted by the cupcakes.

I do have to admit that when we picked the cupcakes up from the bakery, for a fleeting second, I had a purely-psychological desire to eat the cupcakes.  But I was able to dismiss the thought easily, and when we had the party, I never had even the hint of a desire to eat them.  In fact, that night, when we got home, I served a cupcake to one of my children, had my fingers COVERED in sickening amounts of buttercream frosting, and I wasn’t even tempted to lick my fingers.  I went straight to the sink to wash my hands.  It was such a liberating experience because I watched one of my best friends suffer with her binge on 3 of those cupcakes, and I thought, “Man, that SO easily could have been just a few weeks ago!”

Then yesterday, I faced another nemesis — the all-you-can-eat buffet.  Fred and I had been invited to a fire safety demonstration.  In exchange for a free meal, we had to listen to a fire safety talk, and then the guy wanted us to invite him into our home so he can try and sell us safety equipment.  Anyway, I knew that Golden Corral could possibly give me trouble, so I did something strange.  I ate before we went to the restaurant.  My thinking was that if I wasn’t starving when I went to dinner, I’d be much less likely to make bad choices.  So I ate some of my own food — stuff that I cooked and I knew what was in it — and then we went to the restaurant.

At dinner it was very easy for me to choose a rare piece of steak, some Brussels sprouts, some green beans, and some mushrooms.  I sipped unsweetened tea, and I watched the fire safety presentation.  I had no desire whatsoever to eat any foods that weren’t on plan, and I left feeling like I’d conquered a huge dragon at that point.

Now, although I made fine choices and lost .8lb overnight, eating restaurant-prepared food is something I WILL NOT be doing again any time soon.  Last night, I had terrible stomach troubles (pain, heartburn, etc.) that I haven’t experienced for a while and I started itching.  My torso, the palm of one hand, and my legs itched like mad, but there weren’t any signs of WHY I was itching — no hives, bites, swelling, etc.  I didn’t sleep well at all last night, and I woke up with runny eyes and a nasty headache.  I finally caved and took some allergy meds.  And here I thought I was doing so well, by picking foods that didn’t have sauces and the like.  Everything was pretty heavily seasoned though, so who knows what I actually ate yesterday when I was trying to pick simple foods.

Today, although I’m feeling miserable physically, I’m optimistic.  Slowly, I’m getting myself to a place where food doesn’t run my life.  It’s been a long time since I’ve felt like this, and this feeling is helping to keep me moving forward.  I couldn’t be more grateful!

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